There's this fly flying around a pond looking for something to eat.

There is a fish and the fish sees the fly and says when the fly comes down to eat, I will eat the fly

There is a bear, and the bear sees the fly and says when the fly comes down to eat, the fish will eat the fly, and I will eat the fish.

There is a hunter and the hunter see the fly and says when the fly comes down to eat, the fish will eat the fly, and the bear will eat the fish, and I will step out and shot the bear.

There is a mouse and the mouse sees the fly and says when the fly comes down to eat the fish will eat the fly, the bear will eat the fish, the hunter will step out and shot the bear, the hunter's sandwich will fall out of his pocket and I will eat my lunch.

There is a cat and the cat see the fly and says when the fly comes down to eat, the fish will eat the fly, the bear will eat the fish, the hunter will step out and shot the bear, the hunters sandwich will fall and the mouse will eat the sandwich and I will eat the mouse,

The fly comes down to eat, the fish eats the fly, the bear eats the fish, the hunter shoots the bear, the sandwich falls and the mouse eats the sandwich,
the cat jumps flys over the mouse and ends up in the pound.

Want to no the moral of the story? A lot of forplay leads to a wet pussy

The nest has been picked apart. Very little of it remains. It's been two days since I moved the nest and still no bombs from the bird Air National Guard.
I wonder if they are plotting against me? Maybe they are getting some allies.
Calling all Blue Jays, Cardnials, Woodpecks and Sparrows we would like ot join forces and bomb the crap out of busman terry. There building there forces or loading there butts.

This reminds me of a comic from the far side where two deer are standing under a tree one has a target on it and his friend say's "That's a bummer of a birthmark.
Enjoy your P.O.E.T.S. Day

Yesterday at 7:00 am I parked my car to start my day at work. When I went to leave at 3:00 to go get my bus I noticed I had a Robin who built her birds nest on my back tire. I had a few minutes so I looked at the nest and it was in there pretty good. That bird had to be busy building her nest that fast, must be getting ready to lay some eggs. When I looked around there she was setting about six feet away on the fence. I took the birds nest out of my tire and walked to over to the corner of the fence, the whole time she kept looking at me, I put her nest on the ground. Said I was sorry got in the car and drove away. If birds had news I would be headline news. It would be something like" expecting mother homeless after strange man ruined home." Worse yet I might make the cover of "Worm magazine".
Today I parked my car in the same spot I can't help but wonder if my car now has a target on it for birds to bomb. Call out the bird Air National Guard and bomb my car. I wrecked your home now bombs away it's only fair.

With Easter this Sunday, I couldn't pass this one up.

What happens when you fart in church?
You set in your own phew.

One day the son asked his dad. 'Dad, when can I have my truck?"
The dad thought about it for a few minutes. "Son I have three things I want you to do before you can have your truck. #1. I want you to have better grades. #2. I want you to go to church with us more on Sundays. And #3 You need a hair cut." After a few minutes of thinking the son said. "I can do it."
Several months go by and one day the son come to the dad and says. "Dad I would like to talk to you about my truck." The dad replays. "I had three things I wanted you to do. #1 Your grade." Son says "I got all A's."
#2 I wanted you to go to chuch more often." says dad. The son says. "I have gone every Sunday since you made this request. Dad says " Yes you have,
and #3 I wanted you to get a hair cut. Son says "I have been thinking about that one, you see since I have been going to church with you every Sunday I noticed that Jesus had long hair, so I don't think I need a hair cut".
Dad says " Since you go to church with us every Sunday and noticed that Jesus had long hair, I hope you also noticed that he walked where ever he went.